Shit Kayakers Say

“Is this thing on?”

“Who’s driving shuttle?”

“My skirt is at the take-out”—said at the put-in

“Who has the car keys?”—said at the take out

“I’m just going kayaking for a few hours”—returns 24 hours later

“Let’s go hunt some stouts.”

“I don’t get why my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife gets so mad that I go kayaking all the time.”

“Boofed it!”

“Nice Chacos!”

“Going to church.”

“Chaka chaka”

“Dude, I really love your Subaru.”

“I need to get sponsored.”

“My roll is so bomber this year.”

“What’s the level?”

“Can you zip me up?”

“Can I sleep in your car?”

“Do you think we can shower at the public pool?”

“My booties are so grimy.”

“I’ll pitch for gas next time we go kayaking.”

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