Neil Pasricha’s best-selling book, The Book of Awesome, is awesome. It’s full of small joys, things we too often overlook. Like, licking the batter off the beaters of a cake mixer. Getting a trucker to blow his horn. Eating things past the expiry date. You get the idea. I was inspired to start my own book of awesome things about paddling rivers.
Whitewater parks. Twenty years ago a circular river without a shuttle was only a dream. Some paddler took our dreams and turned them into a supermarket check out belt lifting us out at the bottom and lowering us back in at the top. AWESOME.
The double fist pump. The universal signal for, “Yeeaaaah…WhooooHoooo…Did you see that?…Check it out, I’m still alive!” You feel AWESOME.
Seeing people on the river you learned to paddle with. You swam together. Shivered together. Cried together. Drank together. Swore you’d paddle forever. And you have. AWESOME.
Drysuit pee zips. AAAHHHSOME.
The airline ticket agent who tags your kayak, winks and wishes you a happy golf vacation. Most paddlers have jobs, and at least one I now know works the baggage counter of an international airline. AWESOME.
Thinking you forgot your helmet, but didn’t. AWESOME.
Jumping on someone else’s Grand Canyon permit. This is sort of like being at the very end of a check out line on a long weekend Friday when the light pops on at the next register and the girl says to you, “Sir, I can help you over here.” Only more AWESOME.
When the feeling returns to your feet. AWESOME.
Driving in bare feet. Whether it’s actually illegal or just an urban myth, there is nothing like kicking off your flip-flops and wrapping your toes around the cool rubber pedals. AWESOME.
Finding a half-eaten PowerBar in your PFD. Because it’s half-not-eaten. AWESOME.
Salamander helmet visors. Refer to, Seeing people on the river you learned to paddle with. AWESOME.
Take-out beer. It’s even sweeter when you didn’t bring any, and some dude from the group beside you shouts, “Hey, you guys want beer?” AWESOME.
Catching a throw bag. Because one is seldom thrown to you when you don’t truly need it. AWESOME.
Freeballin’ in a pair of Carhartts. To be fair, I’ve been told by women that freeboobin’ under heavy cotton t-shirts also feels AWESOME.
Jumper cables. AWESOME.
Government-run river and rain gauges. Although nostalgic about the old days of calling the locals (the fact they went and checked the rivers is AWESOME), we can now forecast water levels in our pajamas. Who did they really create these for? Who cares. AWESOME.
iTunes Store. You can now find Rapid anywhere in the world. On our iPad and online issues we can also add digital extras including photo galleries (page 16), video interviews (page 22) and video boat reviews (pages 26–27), and links to back issue articles and advertisers’ websites. AWESOME.
Teva tan. AWESOME.
Pick-up truck shuttles. Besides the fact that it’s redneck fun, there are plenty of practical reasons to do this. Not enough seats. Don’t want to get the seats soaked. And my favorite example of boater logic: “Tom, Russ and I will ride in the back to hold onto the boats.” AWESOME.
Gravity. Because without gravity, there’d be no AWESOME in my book.
This article originally appeared in Rapid, Spring 2013. Download our free iPad/iPhone/iPod Touch App orAndroid App or read it here.
