When I was assigned to write about “finding your dream paddling partner,” I balked and wondered what I was going to say that wouldn’t sound too sickly sweet or, even worse, like a lie. People see the photos of us laughing together on the water and think that my wife Rochelle and I must have some perfect paddling relationship where every trip is effortless and every destination is some sort of ideal Shangri-la of domestic bliss and organized camping efficiency. But the truth is, sometimes we fight like cats and dogs.
We suffer from the same challenges that afflict other paddling couples. I paddle too fast. She paddles too slowly. I want to go too far, getting hung up on mileage done and reaching a prescribed destination. She wants to take her time and actually see things along the way.
I feel that meals in the backcountry should be simple affairs, generating the least amount of dirty dishes possible. My culinary motto is “feed the hole,” and I often favour boil-in-a-bag substitutes for real food. She plans elaborate menus with exotic ingredients that require careful transport and generate piles of dirty pots and pans.
I want a streamlined, spare but effective packing system. She wonders how to get more big puffy pillows into the boats.
So how do you find the dream paddling partner? My first thought was, You don’t, because they don’t exist. It’s a fantasy. It’s really hard to find the right person. And when you do, there’s the challenge of coordinating busy schedules. That’s why I often paddle alone. It’s so much easier just to grab the boat and go. Paddling solo is simple and free. You have only yourself to please, and only yourself to blame if things go wrong.
But there’s more to finding the right partner than finding someone who’s easy to paddle with. Consider some deeper questions.
Who is always good company, day in and day out? With whom do I have the best rapport? Who’s the most fun? Who looks out for me, truly having my best interests at heart? Who puts up with my bad moods, and jollies me along even when I’m being childish or grumpy? And most importantly: who do I miss most when I see something amazing on the water? Who do I most want to share it with? For me, the answer is easy: my wife—my beautiful, talented, wonderful wife Rochelle. She wasn’t even in my office just then, peering over my shoulder as I typed that last sentence. No, in fact she’s away for a few days right now, and there’s nothing like the absence of something precious to remind us of its true value.
And as for our different approaches to kayak touring—not only are the meals she makes wonderful, she always cooks enough for both of us. Even if I com- plain about the madness of attempting a crème brûlée on an MSR stove (brûlée indeed).
And she always shares her pillows with me. And we laugh together. Sooner or later, we always end up laughing. We cuddle on cold nights and she’ll always trade me a back massage for a foot rub. She’s a great friend, and I love her. So if you want things quick and easy, go paddling alone, but if your concept of
dream paddling partner encompasses kayaking as a metaphor for life—the ocean as the wide world and our boat as our little place within it—then the answer is clear. Paddle with the one you love. It’s not always easy, but ultimately it is far more rewarding, and in the great journey there’s no better choice than a cherished companion to help plot a course to your next destination.
This article first appeared in the Spring 2007 issue of Adventure Kayak Magazine. For more great content, subscribe to Adventure Kayak’s print and digital editions here.
