How to define a seal launch? Well, most generally, it involves sliding or falling off the shoreline and dropping into the river. This non-exhaustive list of fail videos (with some rare successes) leaves us with the lasting takeaway that most watercrafts—and paddlers, for that matter—are not suitable for seal launching. Enjoy.

1. Someone get this paddler a helmet—please.

2. How to seal-launch a canoe. Step one: Don’t.

3. How to win the respect of friends, family and most importantly, the internet.

4. “That was a horrible start”

5. When you probably should’ve just run the feature.

6. This played out differently in his head.

7. When you don’t really think it through…

8. This seal-launch to cobra flip trick is not suitable for mere mortals.

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